Walt Disney is one of the most famous people in the entertainment world.

He was a talented artist and made many cartoons and movies that people love.He also created Mickey Mouse and built Disneyland, which is a very famous theme park.

Walt Disney was born in Chicago in 1901. From a young age, he showed a talent for drawing and painting. He loved cartoons from a very young AGE. He studied at Benton Grammar School and later took art classes. He left school at the age of 16 to follow his dream of becoming an artist.

Walt Disney made many great achievements in his life. He created Mickey Mouse, one of the most famous cartoon characters in the world. His first full cartoon movie (=>His first full-length animated feature film), Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, was a big success. He won 26 Oscars for his work in film. He also built Disneyland, a fun park where people can meet Disney characters and enjoy rides. Later, he started the idea of Disney World (=>Later, he conceived and initiated the creation of Disney World.). His work changed the world of cartoons and movies forever.

He had three older brothers and one younger sister. He married Lillian Bounds for 41 years. They had two daughters, one biological and one adopted.

Walt Disney died in 1966 at the age of 65 because of cancer. Even after his death, his company, The Walt Disney Studios, continued to grow. It still makes famous movies, cartoons, and theme parks. His dream and ideas are still alive today, and people all over the world enjoy what he created.

1. Organization (9/10)

• Bài chia bố cục rõ ràng: mở bài – Childhood and Education – Achievements – Family – Death.
• Các đoạn chuyển ý hợp lý, đúng trình tự gợi ý trong SGK.
• Điểm trừ nhỏ: một số câu nối chưa mượt (ví dụ: "He loved cartoons from a very young." → thiếu từ age; phần "Later, he started the idea of Disney World" hơi đột ngột, có thể nối với Disneyland mượt hơn).

2. Legibility (10/10)

• Dễ đọc, câu văn mạch lạc.
• Không mắc lỗi viết tắt, chữ cái hoa/thường.
• Ngắt câu hợp lý.

3. Ideas (9/10)

• Đủ ý theo facts của SGK: ngày sinh, nơi sinh, tài năng, học vấn, sự nghiệp, giải thưởng, gia đình, cái chết, di sản.
• Có bổ sung chi tiết thú vị (Disneyland, Disney World).
• Điểm trừ: phần “famous for” chưa đề cập rõ tài năng drawing and painting, nên ý này có thể nhấn mạnh hơn.

4. Word choice (8/10)

• Dùng từ khá đa dạng (talented artist, achievements, theme park, forever).
• Một số từ/cụm từ lặp lại nhiều (very famous, big success) → có thể thay bằng từ đồng nghĩa để tránh đơn điệu (renowned, widely recognized, tremendous success).
• Một số diễn đạt chưa tự nhiên: "started the idea of Disney World" → nên dùng "initiated the creation of Disney World" hoặc "came up with the idea of Disney World".

5. Grammar use (8/10)

• Lỗi nhỏ:
• 1. "He loved cartoons from a very young." → thiếu age → from a very young age.
  2. "His first full cartoon movie" → nên là "His first full-length animated film".
  3. "Even after his death, his company, The Walt Disney Studios, continued to grow." → đúng ngữ pháp, nhưng để mượt hơn có thể dùng "has continued to grow" (hiện tại hoàn thành để nhấn mạnh tác động kéo dài).
• Một số câu khá ngắn → có thể nối để tạo câu phức.

Điểm tổng

• Organization: 9/10
• Legibility: 10/10
• Ideas: 9/10
• Word choice: 8/10
• Grammar use: 8/10
  Tổng = 44/50 → Quy ra thang 10: 8.8/10

Từ vựng:

• very famous → world-renowned, legendary.
• big success → tremendous success, a ground breaking hit.
• fun park → amusement park hoặc theme park.