Walt Disney was a talented filmmaker and entrepreneur who became famous worldwide for creating beloved animated characters and founding Disneyland theme park.

Walt Disney was born in Chicago, in 1901. When he was in early age, he developed a love of drawing and animals. He attended Brenton Grammar School in Chicago. His early interest in art and storytelling later helped him become a famous animator.  

Walt created Mickey Mouse in 1928 and produced Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937), the first full-length animated feature film. Disney introduced many innovations in animation, such as synchronized sound, Technicolor, and the multiplane camera. Over his career, he won a record 22 Academy Awards and received 59 nominations. Beyond films, he expanded into television and built Disneyland in 1955, the first modern theme park. His creativity and vision built an entertainment empire that continues to inspire people around the world.

Walt Disney was born to Elias and Flora Disney and had four siblings: Herbert, Raymond, Roy, and Ruth. In 1925, he married Lillian Bounds, and they had two daughters, Diane (biological) and Sharon (adopted). Walt was especially close to his brother Roy, who co-founded the Disney studio and managed its business operations.

Walt Disney died on December 15, 1966, from lung cancer. His brother Roy O. Disney carried on his plans, opening Walt Disney World in 1971. The studio continued to produce hit films, expand theme parks worldwide, and grow into a global entertainment leader, preserving Walt’s legacy of creativity.

1. Organization – 9.5/10

• Bố cục rõ ràng: mở bài → childhood/education → career/achievements → family → death/legacy.
• Thứ tự logic, các đoạn liên kết tự nhiên.
• Điểm trừ nhỏ: giữa career achievements và family có thể thêm câu chuyển ý mềm hơn.

2. Legibility – 10/10

• Rõ ràng, dễ đọc, câu văn mạch lạc.
• Có phân đoạn hợp lý, không bị dồn quá nhiều thông tin trong một câu dài.

3. Ideas – 8.5/10

• Nhiều thông tin phong phú, bao gồm chi tiết ngoài facts SGK (năm sản xuất Snow White, đổi mới kỹ thuật, tên bố mẹ, anh chị em, vai trò của Roy).
• Tuy nhiên, nếu đây là bài yêu cầu bám facts SGK thì có một số không khớp:
• • SGK chỉ ghi “3 older brothers and 1 younger sister” chứ không nêu tên cụ thể hay số 4 siblings.
  • SGK ghi “26 Oscars” chứ không phải “22 Academy Awards, 59 nominations”.
  • Các chi tiết về Technicolor, multiplane camera, hay Walt Disney World 1971 không có trong SGK.
• Nếu mục tiêu là viết mở rộng, thì đây là điểm cộng; nếu yêu cầu bám SGK, thì sẽ trừ điểm.

4. Word choice – 9/10

• Dùng từ phong phú: beloved, innovations, multiplane camera, entertainment empire, preserving Walt’s legacy.
• Có thể cải thiện:
• • in early age → at an early age.
  • love of drawing and animals → love for drawing and animals hoặc passion for drawing and animals.
  • built Disneyland… the first modern theme park → có thể dùng founded hoặc established để chính xác hơn.

5. Grammar use – 8.5/10

Lỗi cụ thể:

1. in early age → sai giới từ, đúng là at an early age.
2. Beyond films, he expanded into television and built Disneyland in 1955, the first modern theme park. → câu đúng nhưng dấu phẩy này có thể thay bằng which was để mạch văn mượt hơn.
3. Walt Disney was born to Elias and Flora Disney and had four siblings → câu dài, nên tách hoặc thêm dấu phẩy sau Disney để tránh đọc hụt.
4. Một số câu dài có thể chia hoặc dùng liên từ để tăng sự trôi chảy.

Điểm tổng

• Organization: 9.5/10
• Legibility: 10/10
• Ideas: 8.5/10
• Word choice: 9/10
• Grammar use: 8.5/10
  Tổng = 45.5/50 → Thang 10: ~9.1/10
  (Nếu yêu cầu bám facts SGK: Ideas ~7.5/10 → tổng ~8.7/10)

Bản nâng cấp bám facts SGK

Walt Disney was a talented filmmaker and entrepreneur who became famous worldwide for creating Mickey Mouse and founding Disneyland.
Born in Chicago in 1901, he developed a passion for drawing and painting at an early age. He attended Brenton Grammar School but left at the age of 16 to follow his dream of becoming an artist.
He created beloved characters such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy. His first full-length animated feature, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, was a tremendous success. Over his career, he won 26 Oscars, 3 Golden Globe Awards, and 1 Emmy Award — a record in film history. Apart from making films, he founded Disneyland and later conceived Disney World, theme parks that attract millions of visitors every year.
Disney had three older brothers and one younger sister. He married Lillian Bounds, and they had two daughters, one biological and one adopted.
He died in 1966 at the age of 65 from cancer. Today, The Walt Disney Studios continues to produce world-class films and inspire generations to follow their dreams.