WALT DISNEY – THE FATHER OF MICKEY MOUSE

Walt Disney is famous around the world for creating one of the most iconic cartoon characters in history – Mickey Mouse. He was a pioneer in the American animation industry and had a huge influence on the world of entertainment.

He was born on December 5, 1901, in Chicago, Illinois, USA. During his childhood, he showed great interest in drawing. He attended the Chicago Academy of Fine Arts, where he developed his artistic skills.

Walt Disney was a very successful film-maker, who created many beloved characters such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy. He also produced the first full-length animated feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which became a huge success. Apart from making films, he was also famous for founding Disneyland and Walt Disney World – magical theme parks that attract millions of visitors each year.

He had four brothers and one sister. Later in life, he married and had two daughters.

He died on December 15, 1966, but his legacy continues. Today, The Walt Disney Studios remains one of the most influential entertainment companies in the world.

1. Organization – 9.5/10

• Bố cục rất rõ ràng: mở bài (giới thiệu, lý do nổi tiếng) → childhood/education → achievements → family → death & legacy.
• Các đoạn liên kết tốt, nhưng giữa achievements và family có thể thêm câu nối để mạch lạc hơn.

2. Legibility – 10/10

• Văn bản rõ ràng, dễ đọc, câu văn mạch lạc.
• Trình bày đẹp, viết hoa tên riêng đúng chuẩn.

3. Ideas – 9/10

• Nhiều ý chi tiết, giàu thông tin: ngày sinh, nơi sinh, tài năng, học vấn, nhân vật tạo ra, phim nổi tiếng, Disneyland & Disney World, gia đình, cái chết, di sản.
• Một số chi tiết không khớp facts trong SGK:
• • Facts SGK không ghi ngày sinh và ngày mất cụ thể → nếu đây là bài làm dựa trên SGK, cần dùng đúng dữ liệu SGK.
  • Facts SGK nói ông học Brenton Grammar School, không phải Chicago Academy of Fine Arts (chi tiết này nếu lấy ngoài SGK thì hợp lý, nhưng không đúng yêu cầu “viết theo facts SGK”).
  • Facts SGK nói three older brothers and one younger sister, bài viết ghi four brothers and one sister.

4. Word choice – 9/10

• Dùng từ phong phú: pioneer, influence, beloved characters, huge success, magical theme parks.
• Có thể nâng cấp thêm:
• • huge influence → profound influence hoặc lasting impact.
  • huge success → tremendous success hoặc groundbreaking success.

5. Grammar use – 9.5/10

• Cấu trúc câu đa dạng, ít lỗi.
• Lỗi nhỏ:
• • who created many beloved characters such as Mickey Mouse… → có thể thêm dấu phẩy sau film-maker để ngắt rõ mệnh đề quan hệ.
  • Câu Later in life, he married and had two daughters hơi chung chung → có thể thêm thông tin one biological and one adopted theo facts SGK.

Điểm tổng

• Organization: 9.5/10
• Legibility: 10/10
• Ideas: 9/10
• Word choice: 9/10
• Grammar use: 9.5/10
  Tổng = 47/50 → Thang 10: 9.4/10

Gợi ý sửa & cải thiện

Bản nâng cấp (giữ đúng facts SGK):

Walt Disney is famous around the world for creating one of the most iconic cartoon characters in history – Mickey Mouse. He was a pioneer in the American animation industry and had a profound influence on global entertainment.
Born in Chicago in 1901, Disney showed a great passion for drawing and painting from an early age. He attended Brenton Grammar School but dropped out at the age of 16 to follow his dream of becoming an artist.
He became a very successful film-maker, creating beloved characters such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy. His first full-length animated feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, achieved tremendous success. Apart from making films, he was also famous for founding Disneyland and later conceiving Disney World – magical theme parks that attract millions of visitors each year.
Disney had three older brothers and one younger sister. He married Lillian Bounds, and they had two daughters, one biological and one adopted.
He died in 1966 at the age of 65 from cancer. However, his legacy lives on. The Walt Disney Studios continues to produce world-class films and inspire generations to dream big.

WALT DISNEY – THE FATHER OF MICKEY MOUSE

Walt Disney is famous around the world for creating one of the most iconic cartoon characters in history – Mickey Mouse. He was a pioneer in the American animation industry and had a huge influence on the world of entertainment.

He was born on December 5, 1901, in Chicago, Illinois, USA. During his childhood, he showed great interest in drawing. He attended the Chicago Academy of Fine Arts, where he developed his artistic skills.

Walt Disney was a very successful film-maker, who created many beloved characters such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy. He also produced the first full-length animated feature film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which became a huge success. Apart from making films, he was also famous for founding Disneyland and Walt Disney World – magical theme parks that attract millions of visitors each year.

He had four brothers and one sister. Later in life, he married and had two daughters.

He died on December 15, 1966, but his legacy continues. Today, The Walt Disney Studios remains one of the most influential entertainment companies in the world.